Day-by-Day

Come on, Cassi! Stay strong! Only three weeks left of first semester!
I filled out my housing contract today and put a downpayment on my housing "bill". The time is getting closer but also, it still seems so far away. My current plan is to room with a friend from high school but not one of my best friends. We want to live in Haymaker but our second idea is Moore. I am beyond belief ready to begin college and start my psychology classes!
Not much else has been going on except the slow creeping up of my weight again. But I will kiss that good-bye very soon thanks to early morning workouts and not eating like a bear getting ready for hibernation. I have a goalkeeper And we'll see if that helps me this time.

Harry Potter?

Random Post:
1. OE Football lost the sub-state game to ON. We could have EASILY whooped them yet our coaches obvioulsy have no common sense.
2. Harry Potter after the game at 11:15 sporting my "I'd get sleazy for Ron Weasley" shirt.
3. I am listening to "Going Through Changes" by Eminem over and over and over. I'm obsessed.
4. Time to put up Christmas decorations. Bleh.
5. ADAM COMES HOME MONDAY. :)
6. Really starting to miss marching season but I'm alright that its over.
7. Spent third hour on Friday labeling muscles on "hardcore" body builders. Kind of the coolest thing ever, looking at a nasty steroid-abusing male and knowing what muscles I'm looking at.
8. That's it for now. Have a good Thanksgiving week!

Confused

I have no clue what is wrong with me. Up at one on a school night? Who am I? Oh thats right, STRESSED.
I so badly just need a day off. And I'm pretty sure since my mother is completely logical, skipping a single day just isn't an option. I need to rant so bear with me: my retainers are killig my mouth and actually cutting it, I'm sick, I didn't do my homework, I haven't seen my best friend in a month, my AP english grade is slowly slipping down that slope of "please give me one night without a reading assignment."

I want to cut off my hair. Above the shoulders. To my chin.
I want enough willpower to exercise everyday.
I want tranquility. Is that too much to ask for?

Emptiness

Today I came home from my dad's house, partially expecting what we were about to find. My step-dad's cat (20 years of age) had passed away and chosen her "spot" in the office behind a fake tree. At first I didn't know how to react. It was only two hours ago and its already a blur. I know my heart started beating really fast and I had to sit down on the steps. The next thing I did was go upstairs to my room and journal. Following this, I realized I needed to be busy. So I turned on my ipod and made my mom's Christmas gift early. I don't remember the last time I cried but mid-journal I let it all out. I don't know how I feel quite yet. Am I angry? Sad? Scared? Whatever it is that is flying through my brain had me go eat ice cream. I haven't had ice cream in almost three and a half months. Apologies for my short and choppy sentences, thats pretty much how I'm feeling right now.
I don't quite know how to end this post but happy twenty months, Adam. I can't wait to see you next week. I need you.

Too excited.

I won't explain the whole background story of where the idea came from but I can say it came from scholarship hunting and the NOW foundation. (National Organization for Women) I have always wanted to find a place in my life where I belong, where I am needed and where I excel. So far I have found three things: caring for people, making music and leading a large group. Last night I found my fourth. I am going to start a club at my high school called the LYB campaign. The Love Your Body Campaign will be a club for girls to come together to develop an alliance with one another across a popular commonality. Self-Image. I have personal experience with low self-esteem and I want to be that person who can help other girls get through the rough high school times where it seems nobody fits in, nobody fits in their jeans and their beautiful hearts can't fit into their tiny, bony bodies.
I'm going to be the change in my school. I'm going to keep you updated with it as it develops and with our activites. But I was too excited to miss a beat and share with someone. Here starts the future.

Get this party started...

So I'm pretty sure this is my 1,000th blog because I obviously have an internet commitment issue. And I pretty much have the worst memory ever.

First Post: If my dad can sit down and start a blog, I'm pretty sure I can put in the effort to rant to the online world so I can keep my family sane. Basically, the jist of it is: I refuse to be lazy anymore. I won't put off workouts, I won't procrastinate (which is a total lie by the way), and I will not limit myself to the familiar. It's time to switch it up so I believe that starts today.